Hope

My heart's got strings....No kidding! It does...And they tug hard!...

Of late...something weird has been happening. There is a certain pressing need to apologize and I must. I'm reckless otherwise, at least recent records claim so...uggh!.. but there's a bug in my brain and I need to get it out.

 **I'm Sorry and I know it isn't enough. I will make it better. I have hope!**

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But weirder still, SoulCity has been showing up everywhere. Something wants me to leave...for something that has been close to my heart but has never been that close...that.. i-really-must-do-this close!

...Faces, their hands and stories, beads and a book..and more.

 I know but I don't know ...! Like I said it is weird.  Maybe it is a phase.. maybe nostalgia.. Maybe! *sigh*

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We are so blessed yet we take most things in our lives for granted. Like HH Dalai Lama said, and I agree in totality, We do live in a world, full of paradoxes. For every blessing poured into our lives, our acknowledgment of its receipt, comes with a razor-sharp critique when, all that we needed to do was be grateful. True, it isn't possible to always be happy (..that is just abnormal!) but do we really need to grumble about everything??

We look forward to Tomorrow because something Yesterday, was worth living for. So why do we take Today for granted?

I say this because I have done so. . .My degree of cynicism has often reached shameful heights that sometimes envelope a certain much-loathed creature called Callousness. Insensitivity is the worst pet anyone could breed, and with it you breed parasites!!

And often times, because of my shortsightedness, I only see this much.

But I have hope. I read this today - " ..And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts..." (Romans 5: 5)


...And there is so much and more to be thankful about.

Amazing Grace

My first tattoo!!...I've waited for this one for a good 4 years, at least! And for more than 3 and a half hours, I sat crouched on a chair, getting my shoulder blade poked with an ink filled needled gun. The pain??...Was bearable and not excruciating as I had anticipated, but yes the last 20 minutes, or so(..It felt like a lifetime!) was the worst. I could feel my body giving way because of exhaustion. But it was worth it!

 And no..I do not enjoy pain. I am definitely not a masochist.

I did A LOT of homework before deciding to get the tattoo done. I needed, to make sure doubly, that what my heart wanted wasn't going to go against God's heart. My conscience needed to be clear. And in doing so I read up quite a lot...Scriptures and websites!

To quote from Leviticus 19: 28 (The Message version), it says "Don't gash your bodies on behalf of the dead. Don't tattoo yourselves. I am GOD."

The above scripture was the alarm bell that went off in my head. But I read further only to understand that   Leviticus firstly was a book of God's laws for all Israelites. In those days, it was a book that outlined rules and was a guide for their day to day living. And in the context of this particular scripture, keeping in mind the historic setting at the time it was written, it meant to not participate in pagan rituals, mark our bodies in preparation of the dead or imprint on ourselves, symbols and signs that belong to the heathen.

And if we are to stick to this particular law then we must adhere to everything else that the book of Leviticus has to say. And in doing so we may become vegetarians, cover our heads at all times and never wear clothing  made out of polyester!! ..Refer Leviticus!

However, we don't do these things solely because it isn't applicable nor practical in this day and age. And more importantly, the power of Jesus allows us to not be bound in a rut of legalism and by the rituals of the law, but to have the grace and the freedom to live above the law.In the New Testament, Romans 8:1-2 says, "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death."

 For me personally, my tattoo stands for most of the things my life is about and it has a story to tell. God's "Amazing Grace", is what sees me through every day of my life. I cannot do without it. 2nd Corinthians 12: 9 says "My grace is enough; it's all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness."

 And I believe that completely. I have made mistakes and done some irreversible damages, but I go back to the Grace I can rely on. I go back to Him for strength and wisdom. And with every passing day I fall more in love with him.

He has made some of the most impossible things, Possible in my life. There has been a metamorphosis in me and its wheels are in motion. I don't know what tomorrow holds but I know I'm secure, in safe hands.

His Grace is where my Faith is.

Faith & Adonai

Faith, as I see it, goes way beyond the walls of denominations or any other sort of a sectoral segregation. Plainly put - Religion is a phenomenon that was man made, serving only to dice up a formerly human(e) society.

I speak of Faith and by Faith which i must state delves deeper. It is more than lighting a candle or taking dips in water. Faith is simple yet wondrous: Faith the size of a mustard seed can surely move mountains. It paves a way for you and me to find our identity in our creator, establishing an unshakable bond. By faith I know, that, no matter how many tribulations come my way, He will never let go. Silent prayers and songs of praise will never be unheard. The guarantee of His Blessed Assurance will never be doubted.

Jesus lived a life of utmost simplicity. In all the simple truths he taught, he never once spoke of dividing ourselves into complex microcosms based on what we think is the surest way to salvation. As apostle Paul mentioned- There is only one way: Him. Then why are wee seeking to find newer paths that meander their way around complexities that find no solutions? Why do we browbeat ourselves trying to keep up with rites and rituals, when at the end of the day, we only needed to accept and believe?
Why cant we just get back to the truth? It is never changing and most definitely the ultimate.

A Mad Pursuit...or not!

…Because pursuits in this mortal world is vain. The quest for that which is larger than life, diminishes entirely and eventually. Associating thoughts with objects only translates to bondage, that which places shackles on one’s heart and subsequently on the purpose of his/ her existence.

I am not saying that pursuing success or wealth is wrong.  In its own right it is healthy and gives us reason enough to work hard. However what’s wrong, is this largely burgeoning desire to squeeze one’s life to the very last drop, failing-in the bargain- to notice how fulfilling that very life would’ve been, had one let go and shared all that had been acquired so far- knowledge, warmth, shelter and of course, love.

You can’t gratify your bodily senses and neglect your own soul. Much more than your lust for alloy wheels or patent leather pumps, is the need for  your soul to live in freedom. In Matthew 16: 26, Jesus tells his disciples – “..And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul? (NLT)”

So what good is it, to hold on to that which is of this world? Fleeting and bound by an expiry date?

Ambition will cave in once your 85. Iron will rust 20 years from now. Colours will fade from the favourite corner of your room. The buoy that we find our boat tied on to will, eventually be wind worn and washed away.

However you don’t have to look very far to find the anchor that will hold your ground if you find yourself in the eye of the storm. Look up to Him and find Love. A love that conquers and gives you the power to heal, the power to progress, the power to purify, the power to be free and the power to give. Embrace life that is purposed by God’s grace and love; seek His favour in all you do and count your many blessings, that He will unceasingly send your way.

Vanity Fair??

 "Mirror Mirror on the wall, Please tell me I'm the fairest of them all.."
....Such is the self consuming nature of the times we live in.

A few months ago I had developed some food allergy which left behind bad rashes on my skin. And I had, never more longed for soft supple skin than, I did then. Consequently I freaked out more than I should have.

But that entire ordeal did make me think…It made me realize(overwhelmingly, I shall admit) how vain I had gotten over the past few years, and how utterly futile, is this marathon pursuit of vanity! I mean I’m constantly bickering on how my nose doesn’t sit right on my round face or how my eyebrow isn’t arched right or how my arms make me look like hulk Hogan( yeah! I’m a crib pot and I think I’ve got fat arms!). So I had decided, that one fine day when I’ve accumulated enough resources, I would fix my nose and sink my cheeks.

But would I be happy?? Honestly, No!…I’d still be cribbing…If I am not happy now, I’d never be happy then! This is exactly what I mean by futility!

On a general note, most of us make tall claims of being ourselves or wanting to establish our individual identities on who we essentially are but at the same time we are the ones who are the most insecure lot!…and to start with, it’s the mirror that bears witness to this insecurity. When we’re so bound with wanting to change the way we look, how in the world are we going to ‘be ourselves’. Perfection isn’t attained with silicons, scalpels, collagen and botox; it is attained thro’ acceptance- acceptance of who you are and what you’re meant to be, as prescribed by the laws of nature. You cant change that. If its written, then its good!!

This just reminds me of an article I read recently where Julia Roberts said that we live in such dysmorphic societies where women don’t give themselves a chance to know what they’ll look like as they grow older. I couldn’t agree more! I don’t want to be a Dorian Gray- immortalising my youth by gutting nature’s truth.

However, I don’t think vanity is all that bad; part of it is loving yourself. So the pursuit will continue, but only thro acceptance and not alteration, ofcourse with a little help from bronzers, Kryolan D14 and the cross trainer.

Therefore high cheek bones are now officially off my wish list, else the dimple on my cheek would never sit any prettier!